Taking Chances
by LexaLane
Summary: Takes place straight after 'The Truth.' Monica and John finally confront their feelings for one another, but will there be a happy ending?


Agents Doggett and Reyes sat in silence as their black SUV cruised along the dark and deserted road. Agent Reyes sighed as she stared out of the window into the darkness that surrounded them.

'You ok?' her partner asked her.

'Well, lets see, Mulder and Scully are gone, the X-Files are gone and our lives as we know them are over. So, yeah John, I'm great.' She sighed again.

'Monica, listen, I know things are looking pretty bleak at the moment but…' he took a hand from the steering wheel and placed it on top of hers. '…We will get through this.'

Comforted by his touch, Reyes felt some of the unease melt away. She gave his hand an appreciative squeeze and then went back to her previous position of staring out into the darkness.

The sun was just beginning to rise when they reached Monica's part of town. They parked the SUV a couple of blocks away from the apartment building, thinking it would be safer to approach on foot. Once they had made sure the coast was clear, the two agents entered the apartment building and headed up to her apartment.

Monica unlocked the door and stepped inside her apartment for what she knew would be the last time.

Sighing, she dropped down onto her couch and looked around her apartment sadly.

'You know, here in D.C, it's the first place I've really felt at home since leaving Mexico,' Monica said to John who was leaning against the wall opposite her. 'Its just sad that I have to leave.'

'You don't have to leave.' John said.

'Oh come on John, how long do you think it will be until the people after Mulder and Scully will come after us. Besides, even if it was safe, now that the X-Files are gone…' she look up, her eyes meeting his, '…its not like I've got anything else keeping me here,' she finished, searching his eyes for a response.

'Well,' John started, Monica on the edge of her seat awaiting his response. 'If that's how you feel then I guess you should go,' he finished.

Monica recoiled, feeling as though she had just been punched in the stomach. She stood up and turned away form him, not wanting him the see the tears that stung her eyes. She ran her hands through her hair and let out a frustrated cry.

Slightly taken aback, John stood up straight and took a step towards her. 'Monica?'

She turned to face him and he immediately saw the tears brimming in her eyes. 'Monica, what is it? What did I say?' He said puzzled.

'Its what you didn't say John,' she shot back, her voice shaking. 'You know what I don't get, is how you see inexplicable and sense-defying things every day but yet you don't see the one simple thing that's right in front of you.'

'Monica,' John groaned, suddenly becoming aware of where this conversation was headed. 'Don't do this, not now…'

'No, I am going to do this. I'm tired John. I'm tired of waiting for you to sort through your feelings. I'm…' Her voice cracked. 'I'm tired of waiting for you to love me back.'

'Is that what you think? That I don't love you?' John said taking another step towards her, his voice straining under the emotion.

'Monica, I love you, more than anything,' he said, looking into her sad brown eyes. 'Which is why I can't be with you.'

'What? That doesn't make one bit of sense John,' Monica said, raising her voice slightly.

'Yeah, it does. You see, everyone I care about, they end up getting hurt. I end up disappointing them, and…' he took her hand, 'I couldn't live with my myself if you ended up getting hurt, if I ended up disappointing you.'

'I've said this to you before; I can't imagine you disappointing anyone John, least of all me,' she said desperately.

'Well, I'm not willing to take that chance,' John replied.

'Not willing to take the chance?' She exclaimed angrily. 'That's what life is all about, taking risks, daring to take a chance. If love and happiness isn't worth taking a chance then what is?' Monica said, shouting now.

'Monica, I don't want to argue about this…' John started.

'Well I do John, because I don't accept what you're saying to me right now,' Monica shot back.

'Well, you're going to have to accept it. Monica, I've learnt the hard way that taking chances only gets you hurt. I wish I could think like you, I wish I could take the chance but I… I just can't.' he said definitively.

'Well then I pity you, because you're going to lead a lonely life.' She said somewhat bitterly.

John looked sadly down at the ground and then to Monica.

'I'm going to go,' John said, heading towards the door.

'John!' Monica ran after him. 'Please! You've got two choices here. You can go and take the cowards way out, or you can stay, and we can start a new life together somewhere; we can be happy,' she said

'I'm sorry Monica,' he said, kissing her forehead. She closed her eyes; the tears flowing freely down her face now.

He carried on toward the door and opened it.

'Just know that this is it,' she called after him, 'I'm done waiting.' He nodded silently, looking into her brown eyes one last time.

Accepting defeat, Monica turned and began walking away from the door.

John pulled the door behind him but before shutting it he said, 'I do love you.' And with that he closed the door behind him.

The words stung Monica and she let out a choked sob. She walked into her bedroom, wiping the tears from her cheeks. She opened the wardrobe and pulled out a suitcase, then went about packing up her things, preparing to leave the place she had finally been able to call home.


End file.
